Corden's Storyline - Absence of the Force

Operative Nyx' Private Journal

I spent some time speaking with Senator Yemaja regarding the procedure she mentioned previously, the severance of the Force.  She said that Jedi are not supposed to do it, and to try to reconnect to the Force afterward would cause great pain.  I still had no idea what she was speaking about, and simply let it go.  I spent other parts of my day continuing to train clones and spending time with the littlest clones.  How adorable they truly are, and it is kind of strange to see that jerk Boba as a tiny child.  It kind of puts perspective on everything.

I waited around for Corden who was supposed to be returning to the ship, but he never materialized.  I finally messaged him and he said he was on a mission without me.  I was so angry and frustrated that he would leave on a mission without me that I chased him.  I got my clones and we went out.  Luckily I did because Starkiller needed my assistance in grabbing some data from a downed Astromech.  In working on that project @Savage_Oppress_ kept hitting on me and it was getting quite annoying, especially when he *shuddering* touched my arm.  It was the most appauling feeling I have ever had.  I managed to download the data (which I still have but will hand over to Starkiller) and it was then that @Lord_Maulkiller became fascinated with something in a cave.  Corden explained it was some Sith thing why were there (again, I wasn't briefed I just kind of "wandered into" a situation), and when a sandstorm hit, I decided to inspect what was happening.  I wanted to know what the Sith were so interested in at this site. 

What I saw changed my life.  There was a device there that (I can't even put this into words because it was so appauling) replaced body parts of @Lord_Maulkiller with synthetic ones. Starkiller was drunk with some sort of power, he was acting insane.  And Savage Oppress simply sat there in full amusement, and then indicated that he wanted me for his own.  Then, they started converting the clones.  My heart sank in my body.  If there was any shred of decentcy in the Sith that I thought I saw within them, it existed only in my mind.  And I knew at that point, they were converting any Force user and if I didn't do something, then the premonition from the previous day would come true.  I would have gone to the Dark Side.

So I did it.  I pushed away the Force like Senator Yemaja spoke about.  I rejected it to my very core.  I had to so that the Sith would not try to convert me.  It was if my soul screamed out in agony, and my spirit left my body.  I became a shell.  I became hollow.  I felt nothing. 

In a complete daze, I walked out of the cave as the sandstorm subsided, seeing bodies of clones scattered everywhere.  Apparently they were attacked by monsters in the sandstorm, and the sandstorm itself.  But for once, I just didn't care.  I couldn't care.  I had no feeling.  I jumped onto the Mandalorian droid and waited.  That's all I could do was wait.  From what I gather, Starkiller had an episode of madness in that cave, drunk with his own power and Lord Maulkiller became a cyborg being.  And that is when Corden and I left. 

He brought me and Beskar'ad back to my volcanic bunker and that is where I type this from.  My Force powers are either suppressed or I need to relearn them.  I know there are emotions inside of me, but I cannot seem to feel them other than shadows of emotions.  I still think that it might be due to shock, but this might also be what happens when Jedi lose their Force connection.  I want to be thankful that I didn't get converted into one of those Sith monsters, and I felt horrible for those clones that did, but I just can't feel it.  As a matter of fact, the world has grown quieter because I cannot sense the heartbeats of the Galaxy.  For once, the world is truly silent.  I know I am alone but I cannot feel isolation at this point. 

And yes, my doppleganger dissolved the minute I lost the Force abilities.  I do not know what is happening on the Executor, and I cannot contact Emporer Chiahuhua to give him a status report.  I assume he already knows I have encountered trouble, but doesn't know where to find me.