Seraphic Phenyx' Storyline - Eyes Wide Open

Operative Seraphim Reporting

It's strange how I have been walking around almost as if in a daze recently. These memories I have are so real and yet they are not mine. This history I have with these people, it is not my own history but someone else's. It's like I am walking around in someone else's body, and following these routines that that person already established.  I do not know what to do with myself.  Do I continue living this life in the manner which Sandalphon (@CelestialPhenyx) created, or do I strike it out on my own? I don't even know what I want anymore. Do I stay in the Rebellion as her substitute?  Although she could have killed me when she first saw me, she didn't. Maybe I should stay in the Rebellion as her substitute to repay her kindness until I can think of something better to do with myself.

The pain of being utterly alone is too much to bear right now. I know if I were to approach Sandalphon, she would talk to me the same way that her husband, Corden (@Corden_Maximus), did. It's hard though talking with him. The feelings I have are so deep, but I realize they are the feelings she feels towards him.  I am only a shadow of her, a memory almost. And a part of me wants to rebel against that memory. I want to be something more than that. That is her life, and this is mine.

I should probably get some rest for now. Tomorrow is going to be long and I am pretty sure I will have many more agonizing decisions to make. I wish Corden could have stayed to help me, but he belongs to her. I wish I had someone here to help me understand what I am going through, but I am afraid I am completely and utterly alone.